Let Go
by Ravenus
Summary: Set after the end of S10EP13: After his talk with Dean, Sam decides that his brother needs the help of a certain angel. Short one shot that just came to my mind while watching the end of the last episode. Rated T for safety.


Short one-shot. Set after the end of S10EP13

Dean was giving up. He had told Sam after they had closed the case of this weird WiFi ghost and damn, his brother had looked so extraordinarily tired when they had talked in the car, that Sam didn't dare to say another word. It was easy to understand that Dean was afraid and weary, every day he was hoping to find a cure but the mark of Cain was still on his arm, making him an incalculable risk. The bloodlust was always threatening to break out and Sam was very well aware that Dean hated to know that everyone could fall victim to this uncontrolled and unwanted desire.

The younger Winchester was always in very close contact to Cas and after his talk with Dean, he sent a text to the angel to come to the bunker: *Dean's about to give up. He needs you. We'll be back home in a few hours, please come and be there for him.* This was the last thing Sam was able to do, he hoped that the presence of the angel would soothe Dean and that the raven haired man could talk some sense into his brother. Fuck, he was scared himself, his older brother had always been there for him, he had always cared and made sure that Sam was fine, even when their father had left them alone for weeks in a shabby motel room… So he had to do something for his brother as well.

They spent most of the time on their drive home in silence, Dean was staring ahead most of the time, his mouth set in a grim line and Sam was getting more and more worried with every second that passed because he could actually feel the bad mood leaking from his brother. Something was definitely wrong with Dean, he had acted strange these last few days: always eating, lost in his thoughts, his face a mask that didn't hide how bad he felt. Maybe this was even worse than Sam had thought and he was glad that he had contacted Cas, the angel would lighten up his brother's bad mood.

Castiel had always been the one to make Dean feel better within seconds. There were long glances between them, they communicated without words, there were lingering touches when they both thought Sam wouldn't notice and the deep faith that Dean had in Cas had never so much as faltered. Sam was very well aware that there was something more going on than just friendship and from the way Dean looked at his angel he knew as well, he just didn't have the guts to act on his feelings. Which was so typically Dean that Sam would laugh about him if it wasn't so sad. Maybe it would help his brother to cope with his life, maybe Cas could help him to heal his wounds. Not just the physical scars but that on his heart and soul as well.

The vibrating of his cell shook Sam from his thoughts and he opened the text he just received from Cas: *Already there, waiting for you. Stay safe.* Oh thank God that the angel cared so damn much and would run to the end of the world to be with Dean when he needed him so badly. A slight smile graced Sam's lips and he was relieved even, hoping that Cas would make him feel better.

When they arrived at the bunker and walked down the stairs into the hall, they found Cas already standing there, his arms limply by his sides, his face patient as ever and of course his eyes went to Dean first, taking in the hunter, checking if he was okay but from the way his brows furrowed he wasn't too pleased with what he saw. "Hello Dean." The angel greeted in his usual dark and raspy voice and Sam was once again wondering how it could be that their friend always sounded as if he had just downed a barrel of Whiskey. "Sam." The younger hunter smiled to himself when Cas greeted him in such a curt way. It was okay, really, but hell if he had never noticed that he treated Dean a little more attentively.

"Hey Cas." Sam greeted him back but he just heard a sigh and a grumble from Dean and the next second the older hunter was storming down the last few stairs and went into the direction of his room, leaving the angel and his own brother behind puzzled. Sam sighed as well, his shoulders falling as he watched Dean walk away. In the few seconds Sam had seen so much on his face: Dean was happy that Cas was here, relieved because the angel had such a soothing presence, he was scared because he feared to talk to his friend about the mark of Cain and about the things it did to him whenever he lost control, there was also pain because he wanted to tell Cas something for ages but he never did. Sam knew that it was killing him, he even knew the reason why Dean held back but it tortured them both: Cas and Dean knew that they needed each other more than they wanted to confess but neither was willing to make the final step.

"You should follow him, Cas." Sam said with a calm voice, seeing the turmoil in the angel as well. He hesitated a moment, watching Cas turn to leave and follow Dean but he held him back with a hand on the smaller man's shoulder. "And tell him." He added urgently, looking into blue eyes to underline that he really meant it. Cas opened his mouth to speak but obviously he thought it over, closed it again and just nodded. He didn't even question what Sam was talking about, his blue puppy dog eyes just fixed Sam's hazel ones before he turned again and went to Dean's room.

The younger Winchester prayed to whatever God there was that Castiel could ease the pain of his brother. And to make sure that they were undisturbed, he switched on the TV and made sure that it was loud enough to not hear … well anything.

**+XxX+**

It was still dark in his room, Dean didn't even bother to switch on the light, he just waited for the inevitable knock on his door, his heart pounding as if it wanted to jump out of his chest and damn, he wished it would succeed. But the stupid thing betrayed him, it didn't go anywhere, it just hurt like hell because there was so much he had to say and couldn't. He buried his face in his hands, dreading the second Castiel would knock on his door. There was nothing on this world Dean wanted as much as the angel. Cas was the only reason he went on with his life, he was the only reason Dean hadn't given up until now.

"Dean?" Cas' voice asked and the hunter groaned. Why did this motherfucker have to sound as if he had just screamed his voice hoarse during a great fuck? But there was more to Dean's distress, he wasn't just lusting after his friend, he wanted to be held and soothed. And he knew Cas wanted it as well but they were both smart enough to not give in to that temptation. It would be so wrong, it would make them both vulnerable and that was something they couldn't afford and so they went on with their longing glances, aware that there was love waiting that would never make it through.

"Cas…" Dean whispered into his hand, so silent he barely heard it himself, but the angel heard him, felt him say his name and so he didn't even bother knocking, he just opened the door and looked into the dark room.

"We need to talk." Cas said and entered. Dean still avoided looking up, he wasn't sure if he could handle to see the beautiful face of his angel, his tousled black sex hair and his big blue eyes that held so much adoration and love that Dean would never be able to receive.

"I'm tired, Cas." His hands muffled the words but he knew the raven haired heard them well.

"You can sleep later." The light on his bedside table was switched on, bathing the room in warmth that none of the men felt.

"No. Tired of all this. The mark. The aggression that always boils within my chest. Us…" Cas just sank to his knees in front of his hunter, gently pulling his hands away from Dean's face to hold them firmly in his own. Their eyes locked, Dean knew that he would break tonight. His fingers trembled wildly and Cas could feel it, holding them tighter.

"I know, Dean, I know." Cas whispered, his deep voice getting even darker as he lowered it. "Do you trust me?" The angel wanted to know, his gaze not once glancing anywhere else but Dean's forest green eyes.

"Yes." No hesitation, he trusted Castiel more than anyone else in this world and he would follow him everywhere if he lead him. Now Cas was leading Dean's hands to his light pink, slightly chapped lips, kissing each knuckle carefully, slowly dragging the soft warm mouth over the hunter's calloused hands, knowing that he would come apart within seconds and he did, his eyes filled with tears as he watched his angel treat him so sweetly. He would never have thought to feel this. He so longed for tender touches and loving words and here was Cas, offering everything he wanted and he was still so damn afraid.

"Let go."

And then Dean was all over Castiel, their lips crushing together in a bruising kiss that was long overdue, their tongues moving together as if they had done this a hundred times before, instantly knowing what the other liked. Dean's arm came up to sneak around Cas' shoulders and his waist, holding on firmly, pressing them even closer together, deepening the kiss though Cas hadn't thought that was even possible. Muffled sounds were swallowed by their mouth, little whines and moans as they melted against each other.

With a gasp Dean came back to his senses, pulling back from Castiel to stand up. With a few steps he was with his back against the wall, staring at the angel with wide green eyes. He seemed shocked but Cas wondered why. He wanted Dean back in his arms, his full pink lips back against his ow. It had felt good and right, what had shocked Dean so much that he was now looking at the raven haired man like he was poison.

"Dean?" A tentative step towards his hunter made Dean press even closer to the wall.

"I can't do this, Cas." The hunter muttered. He looked so miserable and torn apart that it broke Cas' heart. He came closer again but Dean was like a hurt animal, he would get away if the angel got too close to him. He held up his hands, trying to soothe Dean.

"What do you mean?" Cas wanted him back in his arms.

"You're an angel. You're sacred and pure. I can't do this to you. You're innocent while I'm a sinner." Dean closed his eyes, his voice not even a whisper. "Please leave. I don't deserve you." Dean hoped that Cas would just go, he felt like crying, tears already forming in his eyes.

He waited, hearing movements, assuming that Cas was alking out of his life forever but after a few seconds he felt hot breath on his face and warmth radiated from the man standing in front of him.

"I won't go, Dean." Castiel uttered, their lips nearly touching as he spoke. "I will mend your heart." His tongue darted out to lick over sweet, lush lips, feeling Dean tremble against him. "I will help you to carry on." The kiss that followed was slow and sensual, Cas poured all his love and desperation into this kiss. "I love you." He said when they came apart for air.

"Cas..." Dean breathed and opened his eyes, letting the tears flow down his cheeks. He fell into his angel's arms, needing his strength and warmth against his own body as he cried like he had never cried before. Sobs wrecked his body and he shook with relief and panic. "I need you, Cas, I can't live without you." These were all the things they already knew, yet had never said out loud. Dean looked up, his hands restlessly brushing over the angel's cheeks and neck, finally touching what he had longed to feel for so long.

"You'll never live without me. I'm here for you." Cas' hands glided up Dean's arms, his thumb brushing over the mark. "We will find a way. Just don't give up." Dean looked into Castiel's electric blue depth that held the promise of a happy end, something Dean didn't even dare to think about.

"I'll get through this, love." He was sure that he could make it. If not for himself, he would make sure to stay alive for Cas.

**THE END**


End file.
